My Jealous Friends!

January 18, 2014 at 1:12am

 Do you ever wonder if a friend may be jealous of you?

You wonder why they tend to criticize your every move, or copy-purchase everything you buy, or remain absent in celebrations of your achievements because they are "too busy", or their smile seems too big for their face? Make no mistake, you are surrounded by some jealous friends which you should be aware of. There are few but very common symptoms to identify your jealous friend as discussed below:

Doesn't give you credit but creates excuses for your success: 

Just created a good guitar solo? "it sounds like Stevie Ray Vaughan", 

Just had a great photo shoot? “It’s because of the lighting and editing. Or the camera was expensive”, Not your photography skill. 

Just got a new job? “It’s because you know someone.” 

Just got student of the year award? “It’s because you’re good at marketing yourself.” 

-- A deeply jealous friend can never acknowledge that you may actually have earned or even deserve the good things that are happening to you.

Here is a real life example: In 1992 I made few new friends in Bangladesh in a place called Azimpur. These friends played guitars. By this time I have created almost a dozen of my own unique songs. One of them was "Protodin Tomay Khuji" . One afternoon, I met those friends who were playing guitar in a backyard. They asked me to play something for them and I played that song. It was not released, nor performed in public in anywhere in Bnagladesh, nor did they have listened the song before from me as they have just become my friends. After I played the song, one of the reaction from one of those guitar player was -" I think I've heard the song somewhere else before... It sounds like a WARFAZE song". !!!!

Copying you /trying to upstage you

May be you have bought a brand new pair of designer jeans today and discovered -your friend has bought the exact same pair the next day. 

Or may be in the morning today you have just shared your plan to present your spouse a Rolex Oyster next week and found that your friend showed up in dinner today, with spouse with exactly same watch blazing in his wrist. 

Sometimes they'll even take it to the next level by getting something more expensive than yours. 

Do you think they just an admirer of your style or is the green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head? Sounds like the latter…

The Saccharin Response[big fake smile on their face ]: 

This response is insincere and usually offered by someone who is aware of their jealousy and trying to overcompensate. They put a big fake smile on their face and act overly happy for you. 

Ritchie Blackmore said in his interview he doesn't believe those people who smiles a lot. (see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZEKrA_nsc4 ). .....And he is so true.

Lack of encouragement :

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” ― Bette Midler 

As the above comment suggests, your jealous friends will hardly appreciate your success, or constantly discourage/criticize your endeavours. Following is a real life experience:

Currently I am in the process of writing a book and 15% of it is not even completed ; yet one of my acquaintances sent me a two page email full of criticism and discouragement( there are 12 un educated - fallacious points in that criticism which will be shown in that book in an exhibition with detail analysis ) . And he wrote in a manner as he is trying to "wake up" me. 

Here is an excerpt: Notice, he started even without mentioning my name or any salutation- 

" Well, when I try to write any analytical writing I always try to write it in Bangla at least for one reason, I want my mother language be enriched as there are millions of books about various principles in English. 

It’s not any of my works but it’s the criticism. At first I’m very glad to have that link in my e-mail where I come to know about FALLACIES WE’VE BEEN LIVING WITH. I’ve waited but it seemed to me that it would take a long time.Yet the writing is not completed so it’s not the right time to write criticism about, nevertheless I think I should write.... ..... " 

How can you criticize a book when it is not even written? Notice, this writer , in the beginning he tried to show his love for the mother language but he wrote the mail in English! 

- It exhibits the intention of a jealous and weary mind. 

This is what jealousy can do to a person. Beware! 

-Syed kollol 16.01.2014